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Post by Yagyū on Oct 8, 2015 0:46:15 GMT -5
It's odd to write about my issues to no one in particular but today has probably been my lowest point and I don't want to end up lashing out.
To keep it brief I've had a lot of stresses on me. I'm doing everything I can for other people and I usually put myself last because I don't see myself as very important, but anyway.. I have low self-esteem and I honestly don't see myself as having any worth other than what I can go to be helpful or needed or whatever. People have told me to my face I was worthless and after sometime I started believing it, I guess.
I hate, (and I don't use that term lightly) burdening people with my issues so I hold it in, don't speak about it and expect myself to handle and get over it. I've done this for nearly 8 years but I think I'm reaching my limit. I'm not trying to sound desperate but in all honesty I don't know what to do. If I hold in more I'll probably do something stupid but if I don't then I feel I'd be wasting someone else's time.
EDIT: I'm sorry if this isn't clear or rambling.. I'm working off a couple hours sleep.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2015 10:30:45 GMT -5
I'm going to say here that I can perfectly relate to you in these situations and I'm the same kind of person who would put others before myself and hold in my own feelings as well as low self-esteem and low self-worth. But I'm going to let you know that you're worth more than you think. Sure, I don't know you very well and I'm just a stranger but that doesn't make me stop thinking what I think. You're seem like a sweet girl from our small interaction on the Tumblr blog :3 People are ridiculously selfish and only think about themselves these days (which I won't deny I do too unless it's something I really don't want to do) and I feel like it gets progressively worse as each day passes that it's hard to find someone to trust and consider your close friend now
But if you would like to talk about your problems and vent out to me, you can PM me, or add my Skype which I think is on my signature lol Venting and talking about your problems really help from my personal experiences XD I'm not very great at helping others but it's the least I can do... XD
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Post by Yagyū on Oct 8, 2015 12:41:35 GMT -5
Thank you ; w ;
I know people can be terribly selfish, but I have this feeling inside me that I have to just worry about myself last regardless of who I'm dealing with. It's the best to have someone to talk to and just get some of those feelings off. ~
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Post by Poog on Oct 8, 2015 23:46:52 GMT -5
Aya is great to talk to, but if you want, you're free to bring it up with me as much as you like. I'm pretty good at helping out. You can drop me a PM here or add me on Skype to message me there. PoogV2 is my skype~
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Post by Yagyū on Oct 9, 2015 0:48:01 GMT -5
Thank you too. ~ ;∇;
I really appreciate that.
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Post by Leon Tekashi on Oct 10, 2015 1:33:52 GMT -5
Hmm.. While it's nice that you're helping those around you, it's also a good idea to look after yourself. How can you help others around you more efficiently if you can't properly look after yourself without any issues? To the folks that told you that you're worthless, screw them. No one's worthless unless they straight up don't do anything at all. Helping those around you and making them happy is something to be proud of actually. You're giving your all in making folks better, which also kinda contributes to making this society a better place. Point is, stop doubting yourself. Ignore those that put you down and continue helping those around you while making them happy and looking after yourself as well. You are not worthless. You are a human being with a big heart.
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Post by Yagyū on Oct 10, 2015 1:51:26 GMT -5
I know what you mean. ~
After all the years the feelings I could say aren't nearly as bad at least but sometimes I kinda feel as if my way of thinking has changed due to all that stuff.
I know being helpful is very important but I really like making other people happy so I just thought it was better to focus on myself less but yeah.. those feelings showed me it was a very bad idea.
I just have issues opening up, I would say. Reading all of this makes me feel a lot better though.. I'm still stressed a bit but all of the kindness and understanding really means so much to me. ~ ; w ;
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Post by Leon Tekashi on Oct 10, 2015 1:53:38 GMT -5
One step at a time yo. Don't push yourself.
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Post by Yagyū on Oct 10, 2015 1:54:56 GMT -5
Mhm! I'm not gonna pressure myself anymore, it's not worth doing that. ~
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Post by Leon Tekashi on Oct 10, 2015 1:57:18 GMT -5
I'm expecting you to hold up to your words right there, but good luck.
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Post by Yagyū on Oct 10, 2015 1:59:07 GMT -5
Thank you. ~ ^~^
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2015 11:10:47 GMT -5
You got me too if you need someone to talk to mang (even if I look totally strange to you). Just send a PM or Skype me if you want.
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Post by Yagyū on Oct 10, 2015 11:54:10 GMT -5
Thank you very much. ~ ^~^
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